I spent most of last night trying to get my heart beat to go down. This was caused by the energy drink and caffeinated soda I had consumed that day, and boy did I regret it. Running on 3 hours of sleep is not fun. Caffeine crashes are horribly unfun, as my despair is very exaggerated - I felt far worse than I should have about not being able to watch a damn TV show with a friend. Granted there's a bit more to it than that, but the point is made: caffeine is bad! I even had a nightmare last night, something I haven't had in a while.
But I continue to have it, because it can really make a day better. Slow day at work? Grab a mountain dew and hit up collegehumor. Studytime? Pot of coffee! Just make sure you can withstand the crashes, and you're golden. But with as much caffeine as I have, I basically feel constantly bad: unsure of myself, nervous, thinking far ahead in the future in worst possible scenarios. I think considering I have these feelings naturally, amplifying them with chemicals is a horrible idea.
I think for now I'll go cold turkey on caffeine. But eventually, when I can control myself, I'll have soda on occasion and maybe coffee. Not every day though.
This is a minor digression, but I've been thinking a lot about how I handle conflicts lately. Usually when a friend does something I don't like, I complain to another friend (or more), then wait a while until those feelings go away. Maybe this isn't healthy, I don't know, but its better than being obnoxious and vocalizing my feelings every time. Right?
Well anyways, until next time.
--Honk !m
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