Internal Conflict and Resolution

Drinking is, or was, of primary concern to me. I am a college student. Alcohol is in abundance. Even now there is a bottle of Tequila on my refrigerator. I took a couple shots, never had hard stuff before. Got tipsy or "buzzed" for about a half hour. I wish I wasn't curious enough to do such things, but the curiosity is no longer there. At least for now.
Of course this makes me think of the morality of alcohol. As a religious person I looked to the Bible, but as a practical person I also looked to examples from other people's lives. Both came up with identical viewpoints.
The popular story is that Jesus turned water into wine. A lot of people use this to mean that drinking is okay (although most would concede that getting REALLY drunk is always bad, but that definition varies heavily from person to person). This story proves that alcohol in itself is not a bad thing. Other passages of the Bible say that "drunkenness" is an evil thing to be heavily avoided. So being drunk is certainly bad. Wine has a pretty low proof so I think its safe to say that Jesus never got drunk, nor would he let himself be affected by alcohol (as per Proverbs). That and, it was a wedding. Not a Friday. So the lesson to take away from this is that alcoholic beverages are fine, being drunk is not, and being drunk definitely includes buzzed/tipsy/whatever.
On the practical side, I have seen what people are capable of doing when they're "tipsy." Making a fool of themselves, telling secrets about themselves or others, betraying what they believe in. Of course, it doesn't happen to everyone. When most people drink, its probably more likely than not that it'll all turn out fine. Over time however, the odds are against you, and something is going to happen. People are different when they're drunk. A friend of mine says that they are more themselves, which is untrue, because part of themselves is that they hold back what they want to. But this is a digression. The lesson to take away from this is that alcohol is fine with pretty high moderation. I probably won't indulge in wine or beer or especially hard stuff anytime soon, but if I do I won't feel bad about it as long as I have small amounts over a long time.
Conflict resolved. Moderation, pretty low amounts, not tipsy. Moving on.

I have exactly one friend who shares my point of view, which is of course to be expected in a University in Southern California. At one point I delved into a state of extreme depression when I realized I was very alone in this, the "pit of despair" as I like to call it. I had many a friend who was against drinking like I was, but one by one they changed their view. Everyone except me.
And apparently one other person, which is nice because I entirely expected to be the only one here. Nonetheless I have accepted the fact that I am pretty much alone here, and that's fine, better to be separate from the world than to compromise my beliefs to join it. I still have plenty of good friends that I value and care about very, very much. Very much. People who have gone through worse things than I can imagine and that I want to be as close as possible to.
I'm no longer in the pit of despair, in fact I'm actually pretty happy right now. Working on things, fixing them. As long as I keep thinking, and keep trying, I'm doing what needs to be done.