Jizz in my pants, yaoi, and poems

First of all,
Adam Samberg is HOT. When he's singing (especially when he says the word "fuck" on that boat) I totally just wanna bang his brains out. How anyone can be so talented at being an above-mediocre singer and a comedian I don't know, but it's fucking hot.
On another note, Ryan Reynolds? When he bares his guns on "So you committed a crime... and you think you can dance?" I almost licked the screen. And puhleeze, don't remind me of the sexy and sadistic look on his face in "on the ground" when he tazing Samberg's butthole. Gimme some tissues cuz here I cum! =P Although I must admit, them together makes a wonderful sexy image... or maybe I'm just yaoi-deprived. God, I haven't read or watched yaoi in so long. It seems like it's been years since I opened my yaoihentai folder. But still. ReySam. Yum. It just makes me wanna jizz in my pants...

I can't believe I actually have time to write a blog today. It still seems sort of bizarre and strange, since my panic-mode is clearly still on. Well, I'll forget about work for a few and discuss politics and the such...
No, just kiddin'. Could you imagine?
I'd be as boring as shiiiiit. Or just undemocratic.
"What representation? Motherfuckers, I'm a politician and you're not. There's a reason! That's cuz you're useless and weak! Don't tell me what to do! What? You want money for your kids who are starving and have no clothes? Fuck that! This 2 billion dollars is going into my arsenal. I need my autos and Magnums more than you need food. Bitch."

Ok ok, that was in bad taste. But I do want my arsenal...
Honestly though, representation through government really does shit. The people are important and so is welfare and all that, but the poor people don't vote! That's because they're too busy working 39 jobs, taking care of their kids, or getting beat by their spouses (sorry sorry! i feel like being politically incorrect today) to have time to vote! I'm not saying to cater to the rich, but that's exactly how these politicians get elected! You gotta have the moolah to get the goolah! (Goolah = position. It rhymed! ....stfu)
And you gotta be skilled liars. Telling them no new taxes, driving a "clean" vehicle, cradling the baby in your hands as if it's precious as if you don't want to crush its skull... wait, is that just me?
No, no, guys. I actually do love children.... when they're not mine to take care of, when they can shut the fuck up when I give them a death stare, and when they are sleeping, revealing none of their annoying noises, smells, or bodily fluids. They're cute, on the bus, sitting across from you, drooling. I suppose I can concede that point.

As I was saying, being a politician takes a lot of skill. You gotta cater to the rich, lie like an underage drunk college student caught by the police, and lastly, be good at covering your past. Whether that means paying off that kid who caught you snorting coke, burning your little black book, murdering some enemies in their sleep.... are *YOU* willing to do it all for a meager $150,000 a year? Yeah, I didn't think so. It's gotta be at least 300 G.

On a brighter note, Halloween is coming up! I'm going to be a sexy police officer, with a trench coat and all. I was actually going to buy some fuzzy handcuffs to match my, uh, very decent outfit, but decided against it, since I don't think I'll be using it any time soon (damn you, horrible college dating scene). I don't know if I wanna party hardy that night since I gotta work at fucking 5 a.m. the next day! Like, what. the.fuck. who's going to eat breakfast at 9 a.m. the day after Halloween? Your grandma, that's who. And this is college. Unless your grandma is a dumb shit who kept repeating senior year over and over, there is no reason for anyone to eat breakfast on Nov. 1!!!!

So I just met this guy a week ago at the psych experiment we're both doing, and I just found out today. His last name is Bunny. Is that NOT the cutest thing ever? Now I will call him BunBun, and proceed to feed him lettuce. No, not really. That'd be mean. I'll just imagine him in a little rabbit suit for Halloween. Teehee. Speaking of Halloween...

I've wondered what Prof K was doing for it. Is he taking his kids out trick-or-treating? And if he is, is he gonna dress up? Him as 007, dressed in a tux, with big guns tucked away until needed (let me polish them for ya?).
Him as a vampire, with fangs and a cape (*orgasm*).
Him as a knight, riding on a white horse (...why don't you let me ride you and give that horse a rest?).
Him as... just him. With his gorgeous eyes, that jewfro, that light blue button down with that dark blue blazer, black jeans, and tennis shoes... If I give you a trick, will you give me a treat? And I promise...Whatever goes on during Halloween stays for Halloween. I won't flash everyone the hickey you gave me! I promise!
God, if only. If you take me with promises of love and forever, I'll take it. If you take me with promises of good grades, I'll take that. If you take me without saying a word, I'll take that too. What will it take to show you I want you?
Whoa. Poem! Well, now that I have inspiration...

If only I could have you in my arms,
For a day, for a night, for a week,
Would you ever tell me I'm beautiful,
Those words from that sexy mouth I seek...

Could you ever overcome that barrier,
Of the differences of status and age,
Would you ever be willing to risk it,
For on you my soul I would wage...

To you I may be nothing but another student,
Sitting in your lecture hall,
But to me you are like a god,
Holding me enthralled...

I wish upon a star,
Every morning, every dream, every second I wake,
That one day you'll look at me looking at you,
And into pieces your resistance will break.

Not bad, huh? This poetist has still got it! Fuck ya!
But really.
... I will lie in wait for him. Like the lioness on a prairie hunting down those fast and elusive antelope. He is my prey. And I will hide in the grasses until suddenly.... CHOMP. He will be in my jaws. Or just his dick. in my mouth. whatever.