There is a sharp contrast between who i am and who i want to be. I imagine myself in a year or two as a strong, self driven, unstoppable individual - also not being a total pervert would be nice. My thoughts always deviate to sex, im constantly watching porn, and more recently ive been pleasuring myself while talking to someone online (there it is, a reference to you). I do not believe i have become more perverse in the last few years, so at least i haven't gotten worse. I dont think.
Sometimes i think im glad im this way, because it makes me a more interesting person. This is frustrating because its rather contradictory to my anti pervertedness feelings. I want to be the good guy, but at the same time i want to be easy to talk to about less than decent things. Also im a horny bastard. Fortunately i haven't acted on this yet, at least not with other people, physically.
Gonna work on this.
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